Sherlock Episode 1 Spoiler warning.
After a lot of shouting and hitting things, I decided for John's sake this eternal loop of justice should be made.
Basically John ripped off his mustache and it magically grew until it was large enough to weigh a magical ton which only John could lift in order to cause extreme bodily harm to Sherlock.
Let's say this happens in some wibbly wobbly timespace outside my current victorian adventure's timeline. But trust me. It is happening and will continue to live on until the internet stops existing or until the apocalypse or until BBCSherlock stops being an arse.